Prince Sunny Boy

I’m ruler of the local princedom for now, but I’m moving up. Dad used to run the entire realm from Washingtonia, and my big bro Slick helped for awhile, too. Gonna be my turn, soon. Meanwhile, when I’m not busy princing, I’m CEO of our family’s awesome ski resort, Wonderville Alley. But things are changing. Follow our Youtube channel and you’ll see.

My bro, literally and figuratively. He always makes sure our family comes first. Slick makes his money in the oil biz. These oil guys are really committed to their industry. Slick sees a little money or a good-lookin’ babe, his nose starts gushing the stuff! I don’t bring it up to him though, Not my business.

I put Deacon in charge of the naggy teachers so he wouldn’t try to steal my throne again. As Dad always says, “Keep your friends close and your enemies, closer.” Preaches Milt Friedman's word, though; has a following, like in the millions, across the realm. (How do I get that many followers?)

Richie is my Dad’s and Oil Slick’s buddy. Richie doesn’t say much, but if you want anything awesome to happen, or want to go anywhere like Washingtonia, you have to make sure Richie’s happy and onboard.

Another of Dad's BF's, taught us “Greed is good” and the "social responsibility of business is profits." Richie an' my family, we’re going with it. Works for us!

Did you know that parrots live, like, forever? Josiah Bartlett’s been retweeting our family since before Twitter was even a thing – haha, get it?

Guy who works for me at Wonderville Alley. He graduated from a state college and always whines about student loans. So we cut funding, raised tuition, and he picked the wrong major? He needs to deal with his own bad choices!

He’s asking gotcha questions every time I speak to my subjects. Dad always taught us to suck up to the press, cuz the ones in Washingtonia were what sent him packing. Here, their bosses are family friends, so I don’t take any shit from reporters like this guy.

Dr. Jing

My CMO (Chief Medical Officer). Jing went to school forever and then some, but he doesn’t understand you can’t force monster trucks and porcupines to mask an’ vaxx. It'll ruin my career!

Janitor Kelly

Janitor Kelly is a student studying environmental science and works part-time cleaning up Oil Slick's messes. Weird thing is, the Prince and Slick never seem to notice.

Teachers

Always whining about ‘paying for tablets’ and ‘inspiring students.’ I never went to public school or rode a school bus. Why should other kids? Parents need to figure education out for themselves, like mine did.

Josie

I don’t really know her, but I sure wouldn’t let her cut my hair. Cool dog though.

I forget her name, but she’s got the assets, if you know what I mean, to advance in her career. Oil Slick practically oozed all over her. I just need her to make me look good in those vaccine ads the feds are paying for.